Nervous

So now the nervousness is setting in. I set the date for my surgery, but all of a sudden the matters of logistics are weighing on me. For some reason I’d been thinking that this talk of being able to bike and swim for rehab meant I could just start on that right away.. and that’s probably not the case.

And then there’s driving. Can I drive? Or…it’s been like 100F lately – surely I’ll be able to shower or bath?? How drugged up am I going to be the next day, when I have work and school?

I keep telling myself that all answers will be revealed at my pre-op meeting on Friday.. I guess we’ll see! In the meantime, google’s not really being helpful. I need to remember that the people who post online about knee surgeries are the ones with problems – and the majority of patients are out running, biking and being happy active people.

It’s silly really – I know LOTS of people who’ve had surgeries.. I have a heck of a battle scar myself on the left leg that’s really never held me back. But now and then I just get this anxiety. What if, like the first surgeon I talked to said, I can’t ever get back to running 50mpw? What does that mean for a girl who’s always said that one day she’d do the Leadville 100?

I guess there are two kinds of people in the world: those that accept limitations, and those who don’t. Sure, I could sit at home out of fear of developing the arthritis that those x-rays hinted is there, (OH MY GOSH – THE DOC ACTUALLY TOLD ME NOT TO LOOK AT MY LEFT LEG BC IT LOOKS REALLY REALLY BAD ALREADY.), but why? What’m I saving them for? you know,

β€œLife should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming “Wow! What a Ride!”

Hunter S. Thompson

I know I have tons of great friends who’ll help me where I need it (and yes, I may actually admit I need it) – heck, I had three friends offer to drive me to my surgery before it was even scheduled! But part of me is thinking that maybe it’s time to just fire up my Door to Door Organics account and see if I can’t just have my food come to me for a few weeks. How’s that for a challenge – only eat what I can have delivered every Wednesday in a cardboard box?

But man. I had been fooling myself thinking if I occupied myself with swimming and biking, I’d be ok without running… but who knows when I can even start that stuff. In the summer. in Colorado. Sad, sad Andrea. :-/

2 comments

  • I had surgery on my knee about 10 years ago after a fall. It was slow going at first but I was walking from the moment the surgery ended – just slllloooowly. I think you can’t push yourself too hard but water will be a great healer. I’d ask if you could do some water running. It’s great resistance, it’s running but it looks a bit silly. Ha! But in all honestly, go slowly but start working on it right away. Don’t be frustrated with yourself either. You will rock this transition.

  • You’ll need the fiber, so I say YES get some door to door organics πŸ™‚

    Let me know if you have any questions about laying low, watching terrible television, percocet and/or which celebrity gossip sites to visit while under the influence!

    Heal quick!

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